I’m supposed to have a “takeaway” or five after Tuesday night’s bloodbath in Philadelphia. I have only one, which means I’m four takeaways short of ever working for CNN, I guess. Nevertheless, this is my one takeaway from the presidential debate.
“In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs!”
Are you expecting a serious analysis of that freak show—that encounter between an actual potential president of the United States and a rampaging, crazy, drunk uncle yelling about Doberman au poivre in Springfield, Ohio? A guy who said that everybody wanted Roe v. Wade overturned, including “all the legal scholars”? A guy who summons Viktor Orban, the Hungarian strongman, as a character reference? A guy who believes infanticide is legal…in Minnesota? The guy who warned us about immigrants eating dogs?
The whole quote is even worse.
What they have done to our country by allowing these millions and millions of people to come into our country. And look at what’s happening to the towns all over the United States. And a lot of towns don’t want to talk — not going to be Aurora or Springfield. A lot of towns don’t want to talk about it because they’re so embarrassed by it. In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs. The people that came in. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating they’re eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what’s happening in our country. And it’s a shame.
I mean, holy mother of god, somebody get the net.
The vice president pitched a shutout. She looked like Pedro Martinez at his peak; she blew fastballs by him and, when she wasn’t doing that, she was getting him to swing at pitches in the dirt and fooling him with changeups. Was there a fat piece of bait dangled in front of him that he didn’t snap up? She owned him from the moment that she taunted him about exhausted and bored people leaving his rallies early.
And I’m going to actually do something really unusual and I’m going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump’s rallies because it’s a really interesting thing to watch. You will see during the course of his rallies he talks about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter. He will talk about windmills cause cancer. And what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom. And I will tell you the one thing you will not hear him talk about is you.
The rallies are all he has left. They feed his insatiable ego. They are all he has for human affection and, as far as I know, genuine human contact. He has no platform, no policy proposals worthy of the name. He has his delusional view of his own epic presidency. And he has his rallies. They are his reason for being, and she taunted him about them, so he danced like a puppet on her strings.
First let me respond as to the rallies. She said people start leaving. People don’t go to her rallies. There’s no reason to go. And the people that do go, she’s busing them in and paying them to be there. And then showing them in a different light. So, she can’t talk about that. People don’t leave my rallies. We have the biggest rallies, the most incredible rallies in the history of politics. That’s because people want to take their country back. Our country is being lost.
And then he talked about immigrants eating dogs.
Immigrants eating dogs!
In a presidential debate!
Take me now, Jesus. I’ve been in this racket too long.
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