When things get serious in a relationship, one of the first commitments for couples is adopting a pet. But sometimes, relationships go south, and you’re left wondering about who’s going to take the dog.
The idea of no longer being part of your dog’s life is heartbreaking. Going through a breakup is challenging enough without the added stress of involving pets. Here’s how you can ensure the dog is yours and (hopefully) maintain a healthy relationship with your ex afterward.
Managing a Breakup With Pets in a Healthy Way
If you’re fortunate, your breakup will be mutual and each decision will be made out of respect for the other person. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Even so, you can try your hardest to approach the transition in the healthiest way possible.
A healthy approach to dealing with a breakup that involves pets revolves around three points:
- Clear communication
- Consistency in decision-making
- Prioritizing the pet’s well-being above personal disputes
The 5 Tips for Protecting Your Dog During a Breakup
1. Have a Plan Before the Breakup
If you intend to end the relationship, have a plan for the dog first. Figure out where they will stay and who will care for them while you navigate the current changes in your life. Take your dog into the clinic for updated exams and vaccines and gather all medical records while you’re there. This way, your dog’s needs are met and you can focus on your own as well.
2. Consider a Pet Parenting Plan
Creating a pet parenting plan similar to a custody agreement can help maintain stability for your dog while giving both of you the option of spending time with them. You can do this on your own or hire a mediator to ensure everyone is on the same page.
A solid pet parenting plan highlights these terms:
- Who the pet will live with
- Visitation rights and how often they occur
- Who will pay for supplies, vet bills, and other expenses
- A daily pet care routine
Usually, a pet parenting plan arranges for both pet owners to see the pet. Sometimes, this is split 50/50, and other times, the pet has a primary owner.
Understand that not all pets will do well with having two homes, so make sure your dog will thrive with this change.
3. Find Proof of Purchase
In most states, particularly when dealing with unmarried couples, the person who bought the dog or proves that the dog is their property is the one who keeps the dog.
So, the question is, who paid for the vet visits and bills? The adoption fees and training? The pet sitters and supplies? Depending on the state’s law, pets are often viewed as property. So, it’s not about who walked the dog more or who was the preferred couch snuggle buddy. In this case, it’s about providing documentation.
If needed, hire a lawyer to help you navigate through this, especially if you and your ex combined your finances in the relationship.
4. Microchip the Dog Under Your Name
If you don’t have any receipts to prove the dog is yours, a microchip can come in handy if your name is on it. It’s not foolproof, but the dog will at least go to you if they are ever lost.
5. Really Think About What Is Best for the Dog
It’s a tough question to consider, but we have to leave our ego at the door and think about what is best for our pets. Who is more financially stable? Who has a place to live to keep the dog? Who can maintain consistency in the pet’s life as best as possible? If the answer is you, then the result could very well end with you as the primary owner.
If not, you may have to make a tough choice and leave your pup with your ex.
What if I Have Two Dogs?
The process will be the same for choosing the best future for your dogs, but you’ll have to also think about the dog’s relationship with each other.
Ideally, both dogs should be kept together if they get along, but that’s not always feasible, and that’s okay. You have to make the best decisions with the resources you have.
In other cases, both dogs may not care if they’re separated and will do just fine living on their own with one of their owners. It can be difficult thinking about who gets which pet during a breakup, but at least both owners can take comfort in knowing each walked away with a furry friend.
Taking Care of Your Dog After the Breakup
Breakups are not only hard for people. Dogs can experience grief and separation anxiety just as much as we can. The best way to prevent any stress during this transition is to keep your dog’s schedule as consistent as possible. Hire a pet sitter or dog walker if possible so your dog doesn’t feel like their world is changing too fast.
You can also find new activities to do together to balance the changes in both of your lives. Try a new dog park, drive around your new neighborhood (if you moved), and invite or visit people your dog’s familiar with.
Conclusion
Breakups are tough, and they’re even more challenging when you involve pets. You are left with picking apart a life you worked so hard to build, and that’s never easy. So, go easy on yourself.
Hopefully, you have gained some insight into how to keep your dog after you’ve broken up with someone, and your dog will be your companion while you experience this time of loss.
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Featured Image Credit: Maria Markevich, Shutterstock
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