Politifact recently published an item clarifying that “JD Vance’s dog, Atlas, is his actual dog, not a rent-a-dog.” This correction was necessary after a clip circulated widely on social media in which JD Vance quips to Tucker Carlson that his German Shepherd was assigned to him by the Trump campaign to make him seem like a dog-lover.
In the larger context of the interview, it was clear that the rent-a-dog moment was yet another of JD Vance’s famously hilarious jokes. (“How weird! You’re weird!” replied Carlson, who may also have been joking–hard to say with these absolute ninjas of comedy.)
OK, so we’ve established that’s Vance’s real dog. Fine. But questions remain. Frankly, the two seem like they hardly know each other.
Atlas is, according to Vance, a 10-month-old German Shepherd that the family got from a breeder as a puppy. In August, the pup made his debut alongside Vance on the campaign trail, hopping out of the backseat of a black car and onto the rainy Milwaukee tarmac, led by Vance gingerly fondling the leash in the manner of a baroness holding the reins of a carriage.
As the two proceeded up a set of metal stairs to a waiting plane, the dog pulled the leash until Vance was holding on by a mere finger, arm haplessly outstretched after him. Vance’s face wore a pained smile. Two more steps and that dog would have pulled the leash right out of his master’s limp hand. Vance seemed like he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Had he ever even walked a dog before?
Maybe the dog is mostly the kids’ dog. Although the name “Atlas” suggests that its name was chosen not by a child, but by an irritating grad school libertarian, it’s at least conceivable that three small children have been solely responsible for the care, feeding, and exercise of an animal large and strong enough to maul an adult man. Or maybe Atlas is Vance’s wife Usha’s responsibility. Did she take him with her to her high-power job at a law firm before she quit this summer? Did the dog have its own nanny?
Furthermore, there are no photos of this allegedly beloved family dog in Vance’s social media prior to the campaign. At least not what I could find. I could find a picture of a different dog, from July 2022. Who gets a puppy and keeps it a secret? Especially somebody as willing as Vance is to accessorize his politics with his immediate family?
Vance’s wife and kids are all over his social media and all over his campaign. Having kids is half of his personality (the other half is acting like a dick.). At an appearance at a grocery store in Pennsylvania where he claimed that eggs now cost $4 while standing directly in front of a sign that advertised eggs for $2.99, he claimed that his kids eat “about 14” eggs per day. (Another killer joke.) He’s mentioned his children’s latest obsessions on his active Twitter account; the 5-year-old believes he’s a dinosaur, the toddler was obsessed with mallards. (He revealed this fact when he fell for a post claiming that an Indian Runner duck was the world’s tallest mallard, an embarrassing mistake for an alleged second amendment champion plain ol’ Red-Blooded Red State Regular Guy to make. I’ve never spent a second of my life in a duck blind, but as a rural midwestern kid, I know this by osmosis.)
JD hardly even mentions the dog. A Google search for “JD Vance dog” bound between the dates of early 2021 and August 2024 brings up mostly articles about South Dakota governor Kristi Noem shooting her puppy. (Rest in peace, Cricket.) I couldn’t find a single mention of Atlas prior to August.
Vance does not hesitate to take advantage of every possible means at his disposal to make himself seem like a cool and normal guy. A puppy would be a layup to as crass a political actor as Vance. So where’s Atlas been for the several months prior to the time we all saw him take his master on a walk from a car to an airplane?
A quick search for “JD Vance dog” since August 2024 brings us to primarily articles about how he lied—sorry, “created stories”—about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio kidnapping and eating people’s pets. Now that he’s facing criminal charges over that lie, I bet he wishes he’d talked more about Atlas.
Atlas the Rental Dog felt correct. Vance has already lied about dogs (and cats). And he just seems like the sort of guy who would rent a dog to make him seem less repellant, doesn’t he? (Sort of like how despite there being no evidence that he has ever done this, he just seems like the kind of guy who might stick his weiner in a couch.)
Good misinformation is believable misinformation. Any peddler of bullshit knows it. Some bullshit is believable because people want it to be true. Other bullshit is believable because it feels true. And so, as Senator JD Vance sat there across from Tucker Carlson, awkwardly holding Atlas back by his hips, it really did feel like that dog was a rental. Which, honestly, would have been kind of funny if it had turned out to be true. It could have been the first time JD Vance was actually funny on purpose.
This post was originally published on this site be sure to check out more of their content.
