Photo: Salvatore DeMaio/Bravo
After the peaks and valleys of a largely uneven reboot season, it is such a shame that the inarguable best episode of the year comes in the form of a supersized finale that was overshadowed by the live telecast of the Grammys. Yes, Beyoncé finally restored the cosmic order of the music universe and won AOTY after five tries, but there must be an award somewhere out there for the near two-minute sequence of Housewives running around in hysterics while simply surrounded by the conspicuous odor of dog shit. I’m not sure if the Emmys will see my vision on this, but a girl can certainly dream!
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Before we really dive into the shit (I am really going to work to keep the puns to a minimum, I swear, guys), let’s bring it back to the big themes of the episode. While the finale may have brought us one of the best bits of Housewives comedy we have seen in a while from any franchise not named Salt Lake City, there were definitely some key narrative points established as we bring this inconsistent year out to a close – namely, (1) the comeuppance of Karen Huger; (2) the establishment of Stacey as a Housewife who is here to stay; (3) the soft anointing of Wendy as an anchor for the future.
I have already stated this season that I find Karen Huger’s story to largely be a tragedy/cautionary tale. When you take away the brazen delivery of how Karen narrates her life, there is a melancholy to it that is hard to avoid: a woman who survived dropping out of UVA after assault and a failed first marriage to find a husband who will take care of her and her children, only to end up having to be the breadwinner after said husband made disastrous financial decisions, keeping her trapped in this caricature of a persona that in no way reflects her real standing in the community as a not-so-secret drunk and possible philanderer. I understand that for many, one DUI, let alone multiple, is enough to sap up any empathy that you may have for her, and I don’t begrudge fans that; for me, however, I just find both Karen and this whole saga quite sad. She has quite obviously been avoiding reality, hiding behind caustic one-liners and a holier-than-thou attitude that wasn’t fooling anyone around her, and she has done it for so long that even when she is arguably in the right, attempting to whip up the cast to scold Mia for her antics, the Grand Dame has lost so much credibility amongst the cast that she is the one who ends up losing in the end.
It’s actually quite astonishing to watch Karen’s routing attempts at shit-stirring (sorry, it was too easy) fail at every level. She attempts to put Stacey in her place for breaking rank, only to be roundly dismissed and sent on her way; sits back down in silent “protest” of the Strut for Strays event, muttering something about adopting two dogs that no one seems to understand nor care about; and ultimately is confronted by the rest of the cast for how she has a reputation for adopting newcomers to the cast as strays, attempting to recruit the women to her alliances before they so much as step on camera. She certainly did so with Mia, as we saw that alliance form and collapse on camera; we saw it this season with both Keiarna and Stacey both clinging to her as the season evolved. The women have Karen dead to rights, and she has no wiggle room to bluster her way out of it with another random Grande Dame turn of phrase — and to add insult to multiple injuries at this point, she is now facing a felony and jail time.
While this confrontation was inevitable, what did shock me was the party responsible, which is none other than newcomer Stacey Rusch. All season, I have been openly debating whether Stacey is willfully playing up her cluelessness for the camera or truly operating in an alternate universe, and today we got our answer: Stacey is an apex-predator Housewife in the making. Between pulling together a charity event as the season finale and getting into minor and major tiffs with all the women as the season came to a close, the former QVC host really found her element and made an unassailable case for her return.
The first hint at her rising powers is the scene with her “old friend” AJ Johnson of Chicagolicious fame. AJ is no newcomer to reality television, which was remarkably obvious from the second he started expressing his disgust at the entire concept of TJ, who has the charisma and swagger of a sentient pair of taupe separates. His barely veiled disdain for TJ’s hammy sense of humor and presumed lack of income as a lifelong guest-role actor is exactly the kind of snarky energy this season has been missing, and in less than five minutes, I found myself obsessed and eager to see this duo back on my screen next season.
When Stacey is actually getting the event ready, she is in fine form — not quite her outfit, which is a bit like if Natalie Cole chose to perform at a figure skating event, wig and all, but her wits are fully about her, having flown in TJ to cohost the event by her side. The fundraiser itself is the exact amount of delusional incoherence required for Housewives–style philanthropy: the topless waiters make no sense, the Housewives are clearly unprepared for how to walk the excited puppies, and the poor aerial dancers are just flailing around up there for no real reason that I can understand other than the “vibe.” When Gizelle attempts to get under her skin by wearing a garish blush-colored dress that is only fit for a child’s first communion, she lets the attempted dig roll smoothly off of her back, likening her to Big Bird. When Karen attempts to take her to task, she remains unfazed, reminding Karen that she supported her throughout the attempted takedown and Lake Norman and does not deserve this reprisal; her composure makes Karen’s already ridiculous wicked-witch gimmick land with a pathetic thud. When Karen went to take a sip in the middle of their back-and-forth and Stacey pointedly asked, “What are you sipping? Hard liquor?” I knew she was in it to win it. Karen may convince herself that her demotions mean something, but Stacey can handle the pressure and Karen was clearly unprepared for the response — even in confessionals, all she can muster up in feeble response is some nonsense muttering about moving violations, which is rich considering the source.
Ultimately, Stacey is fully in her rights to switch camps, as Housewives is an eternal game of musical chairs to keep the plot moving; in this case however, Karen really set herself up for her own downfall. In short order, Stacey begins moving around the cast, informing them of every bad thing Karen has ever said, openly proclaiming that she owes no allegiance to Karen Huger with a quick nod to Nene Leakes: “I said what I said, and what I said is what Karen relayed to me.” That said, while Stacey is fully in her rights to flip a switch, I don’t believe for one second that she has any real affinity for Mia Thornton so much as Mia offers her a convenient off ramp to publicly rebuke Karen’s antics. And rebuke she does, highlighting how Karen’s seeming benevolence always comes with conditions, operating as both fairy godmother and wicked witch at the same time — and no one knows this better than Wendy Osefo.
Wendy finds herself at a fascinating juncture for her time on Housewives. After a pretty rough last two seasons, she has made peace or amends with almost everyone in the current cast, and as everything comes out in the wash, she unexpectedly stands tall as an emerging anchor for the women moving forward. I am as shocked to write that statement as you may be to read it, but it’s hard to deny: In the finale, she makes a point to remind viewers that she is the one with the real ties to Black DC elite, with the degrees, connections, and proud family unit to match (with a new dog to boot). Getting Karine Jean-Pierre on camera to do an interview for Bravo and give a tour of the White House is no small feat, and Wendy smartly was able to time her interview before Karen’s guilty verdict would come up on the federal background check. Despite the great gesture she offered to Karen to invite her for this moment, however, the dog adoption event forced her to acknowledge what viewers have known for four seasons now: that Karen’s relationship with Wendy is one of convenience, and despite all of her accomplishments, in her delusional brain, Karen has managed to convince herself that she is somehow above Wendy.
To Wendy’s credit, she doesn’t seem shocked or really affected by that revelation. As Karen attempts and fails to deny the ways that she has sat up at Tally Ho’s and insisted that Wendy is “not Potomac,” Wendy says that she knows without a doubt that Karen has maligned her; Gizelle chimes in, saying that she has tried to tell Wendy, only to be rebuffed because she was the wrong messenger for that information. Through it all, however, Wendy remained poised in what might be her best look of the season; out of all the women at the table, her brand is bigger than ever, her career gives her multiple offramps, and she has managed to accomplish the rare feat of developing her reality-TV career while still preserving her professional and social reputation off camera. I had my doubts about her capacity to remain on this show, but for now at least, I stand corrected.
As the clock winds down on the event, however, everything goes farcically awry. Instead of a confetti bomb going off, someone turns on the fog/smoke machine, terrifying all of the little pups into relieving themselves everywhere in fear. We are now fully in a slapstick comedy, with women in strip-mall ballgowns scurrying around in disgust and nausea at the unmistakable odor of feces, frantically attempting to run away from the main floor without getting any on their dress so that they can safely return the garment. Between the women screaming, Karen Huger dry heaving, and TJ desperately begging the women not to leave an event that is clearly over and done with, Lucille Ball could not have delivered this stretch of humor any better — and in many ways, this was a perfect way to cap the season. There might have been a bunch of shit everywhere, but there was also humor and a bit of promise for the future.
With this, our season comes to a close. As regular readers may know, I usually wrap up the season with a ranking of all of the Housewives and friends-of and their performances. However, this recap is running a little long, so it will be held for now and put out at the end of the reunion — because yes, we will be doing weekly recaps of the blockbuster reunion Potomac has in store for us this season, as we prepare to transition into the milestone 10th season. How will Karen’s comeuppance be handled? What makes Mia leave the reunion altogether? What does TJ expose Stacey for saying about their relationship? Come back next week and we will all find out together. See you then.
• I am still saving the cast ratings for later, but I must say, I fear Keiarna’s tagline did not match her standing this season. She did not stand on business, and judging by the fact that Greg was at the reunion, her much-needed separation from that man was short-lived.
• I feel that I am in the minority when I say that I love to see Ashley’s dynamics with her family. It is an authentic NoVA family with multigenerational roots, and the way that they show up and care for her is a welcome balance to the chaos she causes in everyone else’s lives, and also offers a lot of insight into why she is so desperate to preserve her class status whenever she can. Her family being as over her failed singing “career” as we are was amusing to see, as is the way that they try to hold each other accountable and grow from all of their stumbles over the years. If Ashley remains, I really want more of this on screen.
• Gizelle ended up not having much story to work with this year, but I still found myself charmed by her moments with her daughters; and actually screamed out loud when they tried and failed to plant a tree with not so much as a digging fork to break up the soil. I know their grandfather was highly amused as he watched along from the big party up in the sky.
• I have held my tongue all season, but whoever is responsible for styling and laying Stacey’s wigs this year needs to show themselves immediately. While the Whitney Houston bob was just a bad match for her face, almost all of her wigs have had something wrong with them this year, the biggest cardinal sin being that they were being lazily placed behind her hairline with minimal attempt to blend. Stacey is a gorgeous woman who needs a beautician who won’t have her looking ridiculous. I fully expect this to be fixed next season.
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