As a new year beckons, it is human nature to plan and predict the future – to try to give ourselves a sense of security.
Since the past always informs the present, it is understandable that, as we review 2024, we might look to 2025 with dread. For, globally, it has been quite a cocktail of catastrophe.
The horrors of wars in the Middle East and Ukraine. Destruction wrought by typhoons and hurricanes. Fear engendered by political uncertainty here, in Europe and the US.
How often do we hear people glumly say, ‘The world isn’t a very nice place at the moment’?
But the truth is that we have more influence over our mood than we realise. True, we cannot change the events that unfold on our screens 24/7 but we can choose to lead our own lives with vibrancy, curiosity and even joy.
This doesn’t mean a Pollyanna-ish denial of the news. We simply need to acknowledge the distress of what happens, let those sensations flow through us, and name them.
Indeed, there’s a saying, ‘To name is to tame’, meaning that putting feelings into words can reduce the force of unpleasant emotions.
What’s more, we can harness hope – that special alchemy that has the power to turn life around. For hope is not just a feeling, it can make things happen. Let me use myself as an example.
Last February, I fell while on a ski holiday.
My shoulder shattered and the trauma triggered a virus, Ramsay Hunt syndrome (facial palsy), from which I have not fully recovered.
Over the weeks and months, the physical pain was hard, but the psychological pain was much harder when I saw my distorted face in the mirror.
I felt trapped in a world of illness, unsure if I would ever return. I certainly expressed my distress, spoke to family and friends, and regularly stomped.
And yet I also knew that I was fortunate: I was loved, I was safe, I had good care, and I did not have a life-threatening illness.
Though grateful to be able to see doctors, my time with them was variable. I experienced the stark difference between the practice, and the art, of medicine.
Given some bad news by doctors who were coldly indifferent, I’d be crushed. But when others spoke to me with heart, I got hope.
Work was the pillar that kept me steady, giving me purpose and meaningful connections with compassionate people. Indeed, their disregard for my distorted appearance helped me stay grounded.
I learned again that even when my difficulties felt large, the small kindnesses of others sustained me. Love is, truly, strong medicine.
Among wonderful messages of warmth from friends, I was touched by a letter from my A-level History of Art teacher, my first contact with her in 43 years!
Each note felt like a glimmer of light that lifted my spirits.
Deb Dana, a psychologist, talks about ‘the power of glimmers’, which gives us a sense of safety and connection – the opposite of triggers, which make us feel anxious or withdrawn.
After one difficult medical appointment, I was crying on the train and the man next to me gave me his handkerchief.
It was as much the empathy in his eyes as his hanky that touched me.
Many strangers lifted my bags up the stairs on the London Tube or offered me their seat, which left me with the belief that people are good. Not the feeling ‘the world isn’t a very nice place’.
From my experience of 2024, there are a few tricks I’ve developed as a toolkit I relied on. Hopefully, it might inspire your own.
- Treat yourself to a delicious-smelling bath and calm music.
- Dance in the kitchen.
- Take in the love of others.
- Take in hugs.
- Watch funny TV – my go-to is comedian Michael McIntyre.
- Read poetry – the bookshop Poetry Pharmacy works for me.
- Read more – all books are self-help books.
- Enjoy the company of dogs – my Labrador Bob is a godsend.
- Walk outside in all weathers.
- Write a journal – I do so whether I feel awful or happy, or just if I wake in the night.
- Indulge in rituals, which I regard as habits with soul. Mine include always buying flowers on a Monday and lighting candles on a Friday.
The year ahead may feel uncertain but we can choose how we meet it. When we hold on to hope, lean on love, and find light in small moments, we can navigate life’s challenges with courage.
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