Times are tough. Rents are skyrocketing, We Energies is finding yet another way to screw us over, and minimum wage hasn’t budged in 15 years. But if there’s one thing keeping the local economy booming, it’s the dogs who show up day in and day out and put in four elbows (knees?) worth of grease. After all, that bag of Fromm ain’t gonna pay for itself. Here’s a roundup of some of the local business mascots who keep us coming back to the shop.
Gertie
Employer: Acme Records
Years employed: 7
Sign: unknown, a celestial enigma
Likes: hunting, food, bird sounds
Dislikes: bikes, bike helmets, skateboards
Rosie
Employer: Bayside Pack N’ Ship
Years employed: 3
Sign: Leo
Likes: people, cuddles, her extensive wardrobe
Dislikes: when she’s in trouble
Poker
Employer: Ben’s Cycle
Years employed: 2
Sign: Aries
Likes: being in the woods, running, apples
Dislikes: loud noises, ear touches
Cooper
Employer: Ben’s Cycle
Years employed: 12
Sign: Cancer
Likes: hunting and swimming
Dislikes: when her dad Vincent leaves
Maisie
Employer: Ben’s Cycle
Years employed: 9
Sign: unknown
Likes: treats and good ol’ normal dog stuff
Dislikes: bright lights
Barnaby
Employer: CIVAL Collective
Years employed: 8
Sign: Pisces
Likes: broccoli, all people, knit sweaters
Dislikes: plastic bags, celery
Franny “Sweet Noodle” (left)
Employer: CIVAL Collective
Years employed: 7
Sign: Sagittarius
Likes: boys petting her, butterflies
Dislikes: loud sounds
Greta “Lil Gremlin” (right)
Employer: CIVAL Collective
Years employed: 6
Sign: Scorpio
Likes: no one except her boyfriend Joggy
Dislikes: everything
Ziva “HR”
Employer: Closet Classics
Years employed: 4.5
Sign: Cancer
Likes: the spinning ashtray, football, the vacuum, herding store employees, dressing up as a clown
Dislikes: other dogs stealing her toys
Zara “Barketing”
Employer: Closet Classics
Years employed: 4.5
Sign: Pisces
Likes: yelling at people to pet her
Dislikes: inanimate objects that make noise
Lizette
Employer: Groom For Men
Years employed: 11
Sign: Sagittarius
Likes: food (especially from the ground), giving therapy advice, thinking she’s a human baby
Dislikes: sudden movements, anything typical dogs like
Lady Mae
Employer: Highbury Pub
Years employed: 13
Sign: non-believer
Likes: long walks on the beach and Darwin the snack guy
Dislikes: being left home and not being included
Sunny
Employer: Hounds Around Town
Years employed: 4.5
Sign: Aries
Likes: swimming, stuffed animals, being a couch potato, naps
Dislikes: fetching anything on land, being groomed
Sadie (left)
Employer: Kellner Greenhouses
Years employed: 12.5
Sign: Libra
Likes: walking, licorice, baths, being towel dried
Dislikes: when Lola gets attention
Lola (right)
Employer: Kellner Greenhouses
Years employed: 3
Sign: Capricorn
Likes: greeting people, squirrels, kids
Dislikes: when Sadie gets attention
Cheese
Employer: Mac’s PET DEPOT Barkery
Years employed: 4
Sign: Gemini
Likes: running, toys, all people all the time
Dislikes: chaos (unless he’s causing it), when mom decides to work
Zeeba
Employer: Oak Creek Dental Care
Years employed: 6
Sign: Capricorn
Likes: treats, other dogs, the UPS driver
Dislikes: heights, celery
Wolfgang
Employer: Rushmor Records
Years employed: 8
Sign: Scorpio
Likes: head taps, barking, punk and classical music
Dislikes: dopey modern country music
Franklin
Employer: Skilos
Years employed: 4
Sign: Scorpio
Likes: sticks, balls, people, splashing in water, the outdoors
Dislikes: skateboards, any yard equipment, being alone
Kirby
Employer: State of the Art Import Auto Repair
Years employed: 6
Sign: Aries
Likes: belly rubs, snuggling with his cat brother Purrcy
Dislikes: mean people
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