DEAR ABBY: A dear friend of 12 years recently lost her beloved dog (who she called her third child) to old age. She chose to put the dog down because of health problems and has been racked with guilt ever since.
I lost my 19-year-old son 10 years ago to suicide. This has been the worst decade of my life, and I grieve for him every day. My friend has been equating the death of her pet to the death of my son, which has caused a major rift in our relationship. It is not only insulting but also beyond hurtful to me to hear that the passing of a pet is as painful and tragic as the loss of my son.
I have told her time and time again there is no comparing the loss of a human child to the loss of a canine “child,” yet she continues to disagree. How should I deal with her and this situation? Your advice would be greatly appreciated. — GRIEVING MOM IN THE SOUTH
DEAR GRIEVING MOM: I will cut your friend some slack because she’s in pain right now, but she’s deluded. The pain of sending a beloved pet across the Rainbow Bridge and that of losing a child are not comparable, and for her to have said it — not only once but to harp on it — is ridiculous. The best way to deal with this woman would be to distance yourself until she regains some perspective.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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