DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced after a 37-year marriage. My boyfriend, “Grant,” has been divorced for a long time. He is a lovely man — honest, intelligent, healthy, helpful, neat and a great communicator. Our physical relationship is wonderful, too.
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My problem? Grant has two small dogs that sleep in bed with him. They have since they were puppies. They are 11 and 13 years old now. I have a large dog that sleeps in his bed on the floor and is not allowed on any furniture. He doesn’t shed. The dogs all get along fine.
I slept in Grant’s bed once when his dogs were at the kennel and was grossed out by the dog hair on the sheets, comforter, etc., even after the sheets had been washed. Having dogs in the bed would disrupt my sleep, so if I spend the night, I sleep in Grant’s guest room. (He doesn’t think it’s fair to disrupt his “kids'” sleeping arrangements after all these years.) I’d much rather fall asleep and wake up next to him, but this happens only on vacations away from home.
I’m tired of sleeping apart but don’t feel like giving any ultimatums. Is he right to not want to disrupt the dogs’ sleeping habits to accommodate me once or twice a week? — SLEEPING SOLO IN OREGON
DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: I think your boyfriend is right. Because Grant has habituated his dogs to sleeping in his bed (not to mention that the bed is filthy), I don’t think it would be practical to disrupt them at this stage of their lives. On the nights you’re at his place, it might make more sense for Grant to spend the night in the guest room with you until his sleeping buddies cross the rainbow bridge.
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