In many Western countries today, the number of dogs is increasing, but the number of children is not. This striking shift raises big questions. Are people choosing dogs instead of kids? Or is something deeper going on?
Professor Enikő Kubinyi from Eötvös Loránd University believes she has found the answer. Her theory connects the rise of dog ownership to falling birth rates – but not in a simple, cause-and-effect way.
Kubinyi explains that many see their dogs not just as pets, but as full family members. Some even place their relationships with their dogs above those that they have with humans.
Dogs as emotional anchors
Recent surveys in Hungary show a surprising trend. Nineteen percent of childless adults, and ten percent of parents, value their dog more than any human.
Kubinyi’s theory explores why this emotional shift is happening.
“Some say dogs are the new children, while others find this idea outrageous. Pope Francis, for example, has called it selfish for childless people to pamper pets,” noted Kubinyi.
She points to studies suggesting that dog owners often feel more negatively about motherhood. Some mothers with dogs feel parenting becomes more burdensome, reducing their desire for more children. In some cases, dogs even create distance in romantic relationships.
Dogs as a step before having a child
But the picture isn’t one-sided. Kubinyi highlights another argument: dog ownership may actually support family life.
“Families with children are more likely to own dogs, and some couples see their pet as a ‘practice child,’ a preparatory step toward starting a family. Women also tend to find men with dogs more attractive, which could increase the chances of fatherhood.”
In this view, dogs don’t replace children. They support and sometimes lead to parenthood.
Dogs build social ties too
Dog ownership doesn’t just affect families. It also shapes social life. Dog walking often leads to more human interaction.
Kubinyi explains that dogs serve as “social glue” in modern life. They help build relationships.
But there’s a flip side. If someone leans only on dogs for emotional needs, behavior issues like barking or aggression can isolate them further, instead of connecting them to other people.
Emotional bonds now shift to dogs
“The number of children is not declining because the number of dogs is increasing, but the same trend lies behind both phenomena: the transformation of social networks,” said Kubinyi.
She calls this the companion dog runaway theory. It ties the rise of dog ownership to both biology and culture. Humans have an innate need to care and connect. When bonds between humans weaken, these instincts shift to dogs.
What changed in society?
Nearly 90% of Hungarian adults don’t spend even an hour a week with children. That’s unusual for a species built around cooperative childcare.
Kubinyi points out that modern support networks have eroded. People feel alone. Some have lost faith in human relationships altogether. Dogs that offer loyalty and comfort fill that space.
Cultural shifts support this trend. Memes joke about dog-parent life, and pet businesses are booming. People call themselves “dog moms” and “dog dads.” These aren’t just trends – they reflect emotional truths.
Dogs are treated like children
Dogs aren’t just pets anymore. For many, they’re the most important companion a person has. Their loyalty, shaped by thousands of years beside humans, fits perfectly in the role of substitute family.
Even breeding reflects this change. Small, baby-faced dogs are now wildly popular. Their “cuteness” triggers our nurturing instincts. But these breeds also suffer from many health issues. Owners care for them intensely – and feel deeply needed.
Sometimes, though, over-caring causes confusion and behavior problems. Dogs have needs, but they aren’t children. Misreading these needs can cause stress – for both pet and owner.
People substitute caregivers with dogs
“The changing role of dog ownership suggests that people in Western societies experience a significant lack of caregiving and social support – and they try to compensate for this, at least in part, with dogs and likely cats as well,” said Kubinyi.
She urges stronger support systems for families and better ways to fight loneliness. Dog ownership should help people connect – not push them further apart.
Other experts agree. Researcher Hal Herzog refers to Kubinyi’s theory as “an important new perspective” on how dogs fit into our social and emotional world.
In the end, keeping dogs reflects our deepest human needs – for love, connection, and care.
The study is published in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science.
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