DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
I suspect you have plenty to say about Tuesday’s marathon seven-hour Township Council meeting, but can you first discuss the recent outcry relating to our local animal shelter?
Sincerely,
Pet It Be…
Not unconnected topics, because the shelter was one of many matters discussed at that December 17 meeting. Things can still be connected despite Montclair Stationery no longer being around to sell Elmer’s Glue.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
How did you first learn of the public anxiety relating to the shelter on North Willow Street?
Sincerely,
…Pet It Be
My beloved cat sat on my laptop computer and flicked his tail to keyboard this message to me: “Yew musk reed Montklare Lowkull storree.” I’m very proud of Misty; fewer than a dozen typos!
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
What was in that December 13 Montclair Local article?
Sincerely,
The Decemberists
There was an alarming rumor that the shelter might be closed and its land sold to a developer. But several township officials said this wasn’t going to happen — a big relief for local animals, local humans, and the animal-human hybrids in H.G. Wells’ 1896 novel “The Island of Doctor Moreau.”
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
“That’s weird,” said former veep candidate Tim Walz. But you also learned something disturbing, did you not?
Sincerely,
Dismay in Montclair
Yes, I learned that only some animals hold degrees in atmospheric science despite North Willow Street having the same initials as the National Weather Service.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
No, not that. You learned that the interim township manager reportedly stopped the Montclair shelter from accepting animals (when it had space) from shelters in other communities that were over-capacity. Animals who could’ve been adopted into Montclair households.
Sincerely,
Space: The Final Front Paw
Misty the cat is again flicking my keyboard with his tail: “Thatz terrabull. Knot agseptin’ thoze annamills mite meen there deths in kil shellturs. Annd weirz yore dam spellczech funkshin?”
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
You must again be proud of Misty; fewer than a million typos. Wouldn’t donations from Montclair’s many animal-loving residents help make up for any funding shortfall caused by allowing adoptable creatures from elsewhere to be brought to “Where the Suburb Meets the City”?
Sincerely,
Quasi-Urban and Drinking Bourbon
Enough money would likely be raised, but we should revise that Montclair slogan to “Where the Suburb Meets the Kitty.”
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
What about meeting the doggy?
Sincerely,
Diamond in the Ruff
I often meet doggies in Montclair parks, though I’ve never met Snoopy — the “World War I flying ace” from the “Peanuts” comic strip.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
“Curse you, Red Baron!”
Sincerely,
Sopwith Canine
I’m not the Red Baron.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Speaking of World War I, what was that bloody conflict’s original name?
Sincerely,
Time in a Battle
It was called The Great War until World War II broke out because no one during the latter 1910s knew there’d be a second global bloodbath starting about 20 years later. I learned this from a collie majoring in history rather than atmospheric science at Montclair State.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
What’s that doctorate dog doing for winter break?
Sincerely,
Between Semesters
The collie’s parents insisted she travel from dorm room to family abode on Orange Road — a request that became the plot line for the movie “Lassie Come Home.”
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Let’s “come home” to discussing the December 17 Council meeting. Why did it last seven hours?
Sincerely,
That’s a Lot of Minutes
One reason was another LONG public comment session, which happens partly because residents repeatedly attend meetings to bring up issues that don’t get solved or get solved very slowly. Such as major parking problems for Seymour Street residents and the awful clanging from the area of Woodman’s renovated baseball field — a field that never got a Zoning Board hearing, Zoning Board approval, or a Zoning Board souvenir mouse pad shaped like home plate.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Plus there was much pro-and-con public comment about 1: The (I think wise) disbanding of Montclair’s police chaplain program (see last week’s column for more on that). 2: Whether or not criticizing the actions of current Israeli leadership is antisemitic (I don’t think it is). 3. Etc. Your take on the Mideast?
Sincerely,
Hub of Heartbreak
Mideast in Montclair is near the Glen Ridge border — not too north and not too south.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Not funny. The interim township manager, who announced the chaplain program disbanding at the December 3 Council meeting, gave a strong hint at the December 17 meeting that he might not be seeking or in the running for the “permanent” manager post. What did he say?
Sincerely,
Dee Parture
“My days are numbered here,” said the oft-criticized manager. If so, I think that’s for the best. Speaking of numbered days, it will be December 33 in just two weeks.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
I question your choice of wall calendars. It also looks like the oft-criticized interim township attorney will no longer be in that position after December 31. If so, I also think that’s for the best. Who’s the temporary replacement?
Sincerely,
Ring in the New
No one was named at the Tuesday meeting after an at-times-acrimonious discussion by the mayor and councilors about who might be chosen and who got to participate in the choosing process. Followed by a post-midnight executive session — meaning it was December 18, two weeks before December 32.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
The Council did decisively vote 7-0 for a “Stop the Stuff” measure that would, starting March 1, prevent food places from including items like plastic utensils and condiment packets with takeout or delivery orders unless the customer requests them. Thoughts?
Sincerely,
A Fork in the Road
Great to decrease waste in this time of environmental decline and climate change. I’m okay with no longer adding to my cherished plastic utensil collection, which includes a 1943 spoon made of plastic steel during a wartime shortage of plastic copper.
DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
You’re losing your mind. Also great was a December 17 Council proclamation honoring Josh Weston, who turns 95 on December 22. He, along with his late wife Judy, have done SO much for Montclair — especially in the education realm. Comment?
Sincerely,
Philanthropic Phenom
Wonderful to see, and wonderful to hear Weston’s serious and humorous remarks — including his recollection of buying a house in Montclair many decades ago for…$25,000! Today, that would barely be enough to buy…snacks for watching a seven-hour Council meeting.
Dave Astor is the author of the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Montclair Local.
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