Why Golden Retrievers Are the Best (and Worst!) Dogs

I’m sure it has something to do with my algorithm, but I am always seeing funny, cute, chaotic videos of golden retrievers on social media. Reel after reel of different dogs, all the same breed, with the exact same behaviors. It’s wild to me how certain “quirky” characteristics are actually totally normal. Every video I watch reminds me of our now three-year-old dog, Freddie.

My son, Rollins, had been BEGGING us for a dog for a few years, and to be honest, I really wanted one too!  I wanted to make sure we got a dog that was known to be good for families, other animals, and would hopefully be relatively ‘easy.’  Typing that makes me laugh out loud because while the first two boxes have definitely been checked, that last one? Forget about it.

We chose to go with a Golden Retriever. As a child of the 90s, they are the quintessential family dog in every TV family sitcom, so what could go wrong? We found a poor little sweetie who was living in horrible conditions and just HAD to bring him home.

Dog ownership has been hilarious and frustrating so far, but I wouldn’t trade our Freddie Eddie Frito Feet Escargot Maddox for the world! He keeps gaining middle names. Freddie has taught us all very valuable lessons, mainly patience.  He’s definitely been the source of a couple of cute little mental breakdowns on my end! Oh, the love he has to give, though!

Here are some fun facts about our goofy Golden Retriever and some things I was not prepared for! I’m sure those of you who are Goldie parents will relate to a lot of his shenanigans.

When Freddie was a wee little baby he was SO bitey! I know this is typical of puppies, but Lordy it felt like we were in some off-brand version of Jaws! Of course, he has never been short on toys, so we would just shove one of those bad boys in his mouth so he could learn what to focus his sharp little daggers on! Rollins was so over it one day, he made this sign for his blanket fort.

Speaking of biting, the CHEWING! And he will go for the weirdest things like plastic hangers! I’ve had to go full Mommy Dearest on him to try to get him to leave them alone. Here he is “helping” with the laundry. Socks? They all have holes. Heaven forbid he gets a hold of a paper towel or something shreddable. I don’t want to jinx myself, but at least he’s left our shoes alone.

Boy, does he love our cat! He wants to be friends SO BAD, but Swayze is just not having it. Over the past couple of years, Swayze has warmed up to him a bit. He’ll share his favorite window spot with Freddie now. He HAS to keep watch of the neighborhood.

Freddie likes to watch Sesame Street and oddly, The Lion King, but apparently is not a fan of movies about giant sharks. Michael and I watched a movie about a Megalodon, and he was terrified the entire time!  Bless his heart, he just wanted to snuggle

Ole boy LOVES to run around with sticks and roll in the grass. He has serious FOMO when he’s not with us, though, so he prefers to have us out there with him.  That way, he can show off how fast he can sprint while holding an entire tree branch in his mouth.

And then there’s the mud!! This is one of those Golden traits I was NOT prepared for. Being a bird and a hunting dog, they love to run after anything that moves with feathers or fur. One time, he unfortunately “made friends” with a bunny and loved it a little too much.

Goldens LOVE to dig and waller in water no matter if it causes their mother to nearly have a coronary. And the consequence of being hosed down is also a reward for him, so I don’t see this ending anytime soon.

The toy fluff from murdered plushies, and Freddie’s fur has given our poor vacuum a run for its money. Called “Golden Glitter,” it is all over every piece of furniture and clothing. Tumbleweeds just float along the hardwood floors every day. It is a small price to pay for this lovable goofball!

We are never short on snuggles and lovin’, which we call “lubbins.”  If Michael and I stay up past his bedtime, Freddie will bark and fuss at us until we follow him into the bedroom! Freddie is SO SASSY. I’ve heard dogs adopt the attitudes of their owners, so I feel like that is my own fault there. Oopsie!

He’s always over the moon to see us walk in the door, wagging his tail so hard his whole body wiggles. I can’t imagine life without him! Mud, fur, sass, and all! If you have a Golden Retriever, do they get into any of these hijinks?

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