April Fool’s Day is the perfect day to straight up lie to people. But, because we are a newspaper, we prefer to be honest — even when it’s socially acceptable not to be. So, we’re leaving the hijinks to the rest of you pranksters out there.
Here’s a few April Fool’s gags played on Maricopans today.
Pinal County Sheriff’s Office
Sheriff Ross Teeple announced this morning an Inmate Gunsmithing Certification Program because he is “all about the Second Amendment, and second chances.”
The video shared to the PCSO social media pages showed Teeple teaching inmates the ins and outs of firearms, like how to build them and to have the skills when they reenter society.
“With the inmates maintaining the weapons, deputies can exchange them and get back out on the road faster to better you and save the taxpayers money,” Teeple said.
In seven hours, the faux PSA grabbed 63,000 views on Facebook.
Desert Sunrise High School
Gary the Golden Hawk is getting a female companion named Goldie!
A DSHS Facebook post shared an image of Gary and Goldie in front of the school. Goldie, not to be confused with the bygone Maricopa minivan of Buzzfeed fame, was sporting stick-on eyelashes, a blue hair bow and a Stanley cup (not the NHL kind).
Last year, the school jokingly posted that Gary’s name would be changed to Gerald.
Karsten’s ACE Hardware
ACE is the place for the helpful hardware … pups?
Karsten’s, the local ACE hardware store shared a picture of a dog wearing a hard hat and holding a wrench. The ad was introducing a new line of pet-friendly tools so your pooches can also do-it-themself for a change.
Unfortunately, your dogs, cats and alpacas might have difficulties using any form of tool due to their lack of opposable thumbs. The dog pic was cute, though.
Amtrak
Amtrak announced a product perfect for Maricopa commuters: the traffic simulator.
In this new virtual reality game, you “get angry to earn points,” according to the video, which featured plenty of honking and road rage — basically, your average day on State Route 347.
Sadly, this amazing product is not real. At the end of the video, a disclaimer says “Traffic Simulator is not a real game. We don’t need to make one because you experience this every day that you choose to drive instead of taking the train for your commute.”
AAMCO
Looking to turn your beater Honda Civic into a time traveling Delorean? Sorry to get your hopes up.
AAMCO announced on Facebook that it is switching from transmissions to time machines for those who want to see the dinosaurs — or just go back and avoid that pothole you hit last week.
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